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Corner: Poetry by Ritual Abuse Survivors |
Ritual Abuse,
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Inside My Skull
Inside My Skull
my teeth are sharp and
my mouth tastes of blood
and sour heat.
inside my skull
a pounding
howling pain
paces just behind my eyes.
i wait for something
to become more clear
than this growing need
to die.
i wait for someone
to open this lying door
so that i can show my truth.i am dead
murdered a lifetime ago
a walking corpse
dissected
violated
for the dark pleasure of
those that came in my nightmares
and carried me from my innocent bed.
there is some small part alive
as my pink
quick tongue
darts over parched
paper lips
tasting the sharpness of my intention
dotted on my lips.
i am patient
i will outlast the liars
because i know their secret shame.
they cannot look upon so naked a desire
to end this suffering silent fury.howling now
i break upon the floor
am spattered on the walls
frothing hatred
and all and everything
becomes again the room
that had no ears
that had no hiding place
that had no one
at all
not even me.
the dark hands tore me
breaking the small resistance
ripping
shattering
until there was no thing left
to know what they had done
to that small unspoiled body
hardly owned or known
used up
and emptied out
numbed and splintered away
in heart beats.
take me to the light
high above
so far away
no mercy there
because there was none in that
place
somehow i did not let go
and the moment found me back again
waking from their nightmare.hands now holding me
as i spew murder
and revenge
for i am re-membered
and i know what they have done.i am mad
a mad woman
screaming out above the awful
silence
of anyone at all.
no one stopped them
i must be stopped instead
from taking their tool away.
i cannot quiet this hungry
angry heart.
where were you then?
why do you stop me now?
their mark on me is deep
and somehow must be erased.
but how?
- sherlok, may '95
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Last updated: Sunday, 25-May-2008 00:14:36 PDT